For many years Ben Stein has written a biweekly column called 'Monday Night
At Morton's.' (Morton's is a famous chain of Steakhouses known to be
frequented by movie stars and famous people from around the globe.) Now, Ben is
terminating the column to move on to other things in his life. Reading
his final column is worth a few minutes of your time.
Ben Stein's Last Column...
How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World?
As I begin to write this, I 'slug' it, as we writers say, which means I put a
heading on top of the document to identify it. This heading is
'eonline FINAL,' and it gives me a shiver to write it. I have been
doing this column for so long that I cannot even recall when I started. I
loved writing this column so much for so long I came to believe it would
never end.
It worked well for a long time, but gradually, my changing as a person
and the world's change have overtaken it On a small scale, Morton's, while
better than ever, no longer attracts as many stars as it used to. It
still brings in the rich people in droves and definitely some stars.
I saw Samuel L. Jackson there a few days ago, and we had a nice
visit, and right before that, I saw and had a splendid talk with Warren
Beatty in an elevator, in which we agreed that Splendor in the Grass was
a super movie. But Morton's is not the star galaxy it once was,
though it probably will be again.
Beyond that, a bigger change has happened..? I no longer think Hollywood
stars are terribly important. They are uniformly pleasant, friendly
people, and they treat me better than I deserve to be treated. But a man
or woman who makes a huge wage for memorizing lines and reciting them in
front of a camera is no longer my idea of a shining star we should all
look up to.
How can a man or woman who makes an eight-figure wage and lives in insane
luxury really be a star in today's world, if by a 'star' we mean someone bright
and powerful and attractive as a role model? Real stars are not riding
around in the backs of limousines or in Porsches or getting trained in yoga or
Pilates and eating only raw fruit while they have Vietnamese girls do their
nails..
They can be interesting, nice people, but they are not heroes to me any longer.
A real star is the soldier of the 4th Infantry Division who poked
his head into a hole on a farm near Tikrit, Iraq . He could have been met
by a bomb or a hail of AK-47 bullets. Instead, he faced an abject Saddam
Hussein and the gratitude of all of the decent people of the world.
A real star is the U.S. soldier who was sent to disarm a bomb next to a
road north of Baghdad . He approached it, and the bomb went off and
killed him..
A real star, the kind who haunts my memory night and day, is the U.S. soldier
in Baghdad who saw a little girl playing with a piece of unexploded ordnance on
a street near where he was guarding a station. He pushed her aside and
threw himself on it just as it exploded. He left a family desolate in
California and a little girl alive in Baghdad .
The stars who deserve media attention are not the ones who have lavish weddings
on TV but the ones who patrol the streets of Mosul even after two of their
buddies were murdered and their bodies battered and stripped for the sin
of trying to protect Iraqis from terrorists.
We put couples with incomes of $100 million a year on the covers of our
magazines. The noncoms and officers who barely scrape by on military pay
but stand on guard in Afghanistan and Iraq and on ships and in submarines and
near the Arctic Circle are anonymous as they live and die.
I am no longer comfortable being a part of the system that has such poor
values, and I do not want to perpetuate those values by pretending that who is
eating at Morton's is a big subject.
There are plenty of other stars in the American firmament... the policemen and
women who go off on patrol in South Central and have no idea if they will
return alive; the orderlies and paramedics who bring in people who have been in
terrible accidents and prepare them for surgery; the teachers and nurses who
throw their whole spirits into caring for autistic children; the kind men and
women who work in hospices and in cancer wards.
Think of each and every fireman who was running up the stairs at the World
Trade Center as the towers began to collapse. Now you have my idea of a
real hero.
I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters
This is my highest and best use as a human. I can put it
another way. Years ago, I realized I could never be as great an actor as
Olivier or as good a comic as Steve Martin or Martin Mull or Fred Willard--or
as good an economist as Samuelson or Friedman or as good a writer as
Fitzgerald. Or even remotely close to any of them.
But, I could be a devoted father to my son, husband to my wife and, above
all, a good son to the parents who had done so much for me. This
came to be my main task in life. I did it moderately well with my son,
pretty well with my wife and well indeed with my parents (with my sister's
help). I cared for and paid attention to them in their declining
years. I stayed with my father as he got sick, went into extremis
and then into a coma and then entered immortality with my sister and me reading
him the Psalms.
This was the only point at which my life touched the lives of the soldiers in
Iraq or the firefighters in New York . I came to realize that life lived
to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty, in return
for the lavish life God has devolved upon me, to help others He has
placed in my path. This is my highest and best use as a human
Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will.
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